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For Coffee Drinkers: you are addicted to coffee if ...

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Coffee Drinkers: You know you are addicted to coffee if ...



You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.
You
have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The
only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You
can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
You've
worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your
eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You
chew on other people's fingernails.
The
nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You're
so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You
can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You
can jump-start your car without cables.
You
don't sweat, you percolate.
You
walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
You
forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've
built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People
get dizzy just watching you.
Instant
coffee takes too long.
You
channel surf faster without a remote.
You
have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You
can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You
short out motion detectors.
You
don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your
nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You
help your dog chase its tail.
You
soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your
first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You
ski uphill.
You
get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You
answer the door before people knock.
You
haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse

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